My favourite works of Jean Sebastien Monazi

The Prey
http://www.simplemoment.com/PagePhotos/portraits/portraits.php?galID=35&picID=0

Love is a game
http://www.simplemoment.com/PagePhotos/portraits/portraits.php?galID=21

They're inspirational works of art, seriously.

"a film without motion"

Elements of a photo essay:

• Convention
  
• Navigation - linear
  
• Pace - slow, so it would allow the viewer
  
• Structure
• Order
  
• Formats
• Screen ratio
• Colour
• Style
• Design
• Text
• Typography
• Scale
• Subject Matter
  
• Theme
• Director's Values
  
• Special FX
  
• Lighting
• Camera angles
  
• Tone
  

Eyes eyes eyes

Yellow is seen as a bright, optimistic colour, a creative colour, a colour that gives a strong sense of direction because of its brightness, hence I gving Daniel a big yellow arrow that will be painted across his face, with sun rays sprouting out at the end. I'm thinking of having a big yellow swirly sun as the picture on his white t-shirt; or simply a yellow box.

Orange is a colour of power, a colour of curiousity and a colour that initiates hunger. I'm planning to paint a big orange question mark on Kaitlyn's left eye, while there is a big edgy looking arrow on her other eye to represent the power. An idea for her white t-shirt would be a closed fist or a punching glove.

White is the colour of purity, innocence, peace, balance. It's the colour of truth, something that reveals the cold side of things. I'm representing the peace in Keith's eyes by painting a shape of a white dove on his left eye. And the truth in the colour white as a full hollow circle on his right eye. As the colour white can stand for completeness and wholeness. An idea for Keith's t-shirt (which I might have to buy a grey colour or black colour which would allow the white paint to show up), I'm thinking of painting a white rose, which represents the purity and innocence of white.

The colour grey is associated with isolation, with being narrow minded, maturity, "Gray is the true neutral color. Its energy imparts void, emptiness, lack of movement, emotion, warmth and identifying characteristics. Because of this, gray can be restful. It has a detached and isolated feeling. " I decided to paint Dinh's eyes with narrow strokes of definition, with a smooth curve to one side. For Dinh's white t-shirt, I'm thinking of painting a grey wolf, that is howling at the heavens, which represents the loneliness of grey.

Blue is the colour of distance, conservation, "A pure blue is the color of inspiration, sincerity and spirituality. ", calming. It's the colour of the ocean, something that calms you as you watch the waves roll by in the distance. I decided to paint curves onto Pauline's eyes that represent the sincerity of the colour blue, and the calming soothing effect of it. For her white t-shirt, I'm thinking of painting blue key - key to inspiration etc. Also I'm thinking of having Pauline holding up the rubix cube to the camera, where only the blue side is showing (for my photo with the whole spectrum of colours, I'll be clutching the rubix cube which is all mixed up again)

Purple

Purple is the colour of good judgement and magic (hence the stars). It's also a very child-friendly colour, hence I've given Kelly a look as if she's a super hero with her eyes, it's gentle, curved edges. Her arms are held up high as if she's feeling free, to represent her seeking of spirtual fulfilment, as if she is doing magic, as if openly meditating/praising to the heavens, thanking them for being blessed with what she's got.

Black

Black is the absence of all colours, it's a misunderstood colour hence I'm associating black with being emotional. The face paint is suppose to represent the misunderstood tears and the beauty of the elegance of the colour black (which it can also offer). I'm planning to have Freda looking down, where her eyes are closed, but on her white t-shirt would be a single open eye, which a twirled up pupil, where it represents she portrays the world in a different manner.

Design of face paint and everything else

As green relates to nature, relates to balance, well-being, growth and harmony, I've decided to have Shiwen situated on the grass relaxing, with one eye open. His eyes will have a single leaf painted on them to represent the mother nature. I remember reading somewhere that the colour green is gentle for the eyes, so I'm trying to create a look of serenity, a calm and relaxed look. The arrow on the white t-shirt represents growth, 'go' etc.

The colour red is associated with passion, love, fire, anger etc. I wanted to give the colour red a more edgy look, and yet the passion and love is still visually seen with the big red heart on the white t-shirt. Tham's eyes will have the fire look, and the red scarf around his head/hair will enhance the power look. I haven't decided if he should smile or not.

IDEA EPIPHANY: As I have chosen to represent myself as all colours, I'm going to include a distinct colour object in each of the colour themed photographs and when it's the photo of the rainbow colours, it would all be seen somewhere in my photograph.

http://www.crystal-cure.com/color.html

Meaning of Colour

Color is all around us. We see it all the time. Most of us have no idea the impact color has on our lives. This impact of the many colors in our environment is usually not conscious. Sometimes we get an uneasy feeling in certain rooms or very relaxed in another, but we call this a mood. The "color of mood" can be what is surrounding us.

1. Red - Tham Hua
Red is the warmest of all colors. Red is the color most chosen by extroverts and one of the top picks of males. On the negative side red can mean temper or anger. In China, red is the color of prosperity and joy. Brides wear red and front doors are often painted red. Red is Tuesday's color. Red roses symbolize passionate love. Ruby rings should be worn on the left hand. Red is the color of Mars. This planet is known as the God of War.

Red is associated with fiery heat and warmth. It can also mean danger (burning).
Red is the color of blood, and as such has strong symbolism as life and vitality. It brings focus to the essence of life and living with emphasis on survival. Red is also the color of passion and lust.

Put some red in your life when you want:
increased enthusiasm and interest
more energy
action and confidence to go after your dreams
protection from fears and anxieties

2. Orange - Kaitlyn Vu
Orange is a power color. It is one of the healing colors. It is said to increase the craving for food. It also stimulates enthusiasm and creativity. Orange means vitality with endurance. People who like orange are usually thoughtful and sincere. Lady luck's color is orange. I have been told that if a change of any kind is need in life, just burn an orange candle for 7 nights.

While red is associated with fiery heat, orange is associated with the benign warmth of the sun. A dynamic color to be sure, orange offers a more thoughtful control than explosive red. Curiosity is a driving characteristic of orange, and with it comes exploration of new things.

Put some orange in your life when you want:
to spice things up when you feel time is dragging
to become more involved in something
to increase creativity
relief from things becoming too serious

3. Yellow - Daniel Tay
The shade of yellow determines the meaning. Pure, bright and sunny yellow is the easiest color to see. People who are blind to other colors can usually see yellow. Yellow is full of creative and intellectual energy. Always use yellow note pads.
Yellow symbolizes wisdom. Yellow means joy and happiness. People of high intellect favor yellow. Yellow daffodils are a symbol of unrequited love. Sunday's color is yellow-gold.

Like the energy of a bright sunny day, yellow brings clarity and awareness. The shade of yellow determines its effect: Yellow-green can mean deceit, and creates a disoriented feeling. Orange-yellow imparts a sense of establishment. Clean light yellow clears the mind, making it active and alert.

Put some yellow in your life when you want:
clarity for decision-making
relief from 'burnout', panic, nervousness, exhaustion
sharper memory and concentration skills
protection from lethargy and depression during dull weather

4. Green - Shiwen King
Green is the color of nature, fertility, life. Grass green is the most restful color. Green symbolizes self-respect and well being. Green is the color of balance. It also means learning, growth and harmony. Green is a safe color, if you don't know what color to use anywhere use green.
Green is favored by well balanced people. Green symbolizes the master healer and the life force. It often symbolizes money. It was believed green was healing for the eyes. Egyptians wore green eyeliner. Green eyeshades are still used. You should eat raw green foods for good health. Friday is the day of green. Green jade is a sacred stone of Asia.

Green contains the powerful energies of nature, growth, desire to expand or increase. Balance and a sense of order are found in the color green. Change and transformation is necessary for growth, and so this ability to sustain changes is also a part of the energy of green.

Put some green in your life when you want:
a new state of balance
feel a need for change or growth
freedom to pursue new ideas
protection from fears and anxieties connected with the demands of others

5. Blue - Pauline Van
Blue is the coolest color - the color of the sky, ocean, sleep, twilight. The ancient Egyptians used lapis lazuli to represent heaven. Blue symbolizes the Virgin Mary. A pure blue is the color of inspiration, sincerity and spirituality. Blue is often the chosen color by conservative people. Blue is the calming color. That makes it a wonderful color to use in the home, especially for babies. Blue is so soothing that is a good choice for pajamas. Dark blue is the color of truth and moderation. A blue iris means your friendship is very important to me. Wednesday's color is blue. Blue gemstones to wear to feel calm are blue sapphire and blue topaz. Lapis lazuli and azurite are said to heighten psychic power.

Blue gives a feeling of distance. Artists use it to to show perspective. This is a good way to understand the energy of the color blue - it allows us to look beyond and increase our perspective outward. It contains a cool vibration that is helpful to communication.
The vibration if blue can be used to open energy flow where it is blocked. Using blue to relax will encourage feelings of communication and peace.

Put some blue in your life when you want:
calm and relaxation to counteract chaos or agitation
to open the flow of communication
to broaden your perspective in learning new information
solitude and peace

6. Purple - Kelly Tang
Purple is the color of good judgment. It is the color of people seeking spiritual fulfillment. It is said if you surround yourself with purple you will have peace of mind. Purple is a good color to use in meditation.
Purple has been used to symbolize magic and mystery, as well as royalty. Being the combination of red and blue, the warmest and coolest colors, purple is believed to be the ideal color. Most children love the color purple. Purple is the color most favored by artists. Thursday's color is purple.
Violet is the color of purpose. Violet is associated with the Crown chakra (This links individual and universal).
Violet Energy
Violet is a combination of blue and red. Red is a focusing, dynamic and active energy while blue is cooling, calming and expansive. Violet brings a new dynamic to the expansion of blue and the activity of red. Red brings practicality to the undirected expansiveness of the blue, and allows more creative energy to emerge. For this reason, violet is associated with imagination and inspiration.
Violet is an important energy for those who use blue and indigo skills in the psychic field. The red in violet offers a grounding effect.

Put some violet in your life when you want:
to use your imagination to its fullest
to re-balance your life
to remove obstacles
to calm overactivity or to energize from depression

7. White - Keith Soeum
White is the color of purity. Brides wear white in many countries, because white symbolizes a virgin. White means kindness. In some cultures white is worn at funerals. White is Monday's color. White daisies are a symbol of loyal love.

Strictly speaking, white is not a color, but the manifestation of the presence of all color - the complete energy of light. It stands for wholeness and completion. In many cultures it represents openness and truth. White has a cold quality. It can provide clarity as its energy is complete.
White has purification vibrations and can be used to clear blocks from your path.
It holds the potential to move toward every other color and this makes it a good choice for new beginnings, and development in any direction.

Put some white in your life when you want:
to clear clutter and obstacles away
to start a fresh beginning
to bring about mental clarity
purification of thoughts or actions

8. Grey - Dinh Vuu
Gray is the color of sorrow. People who favor gray can be the lone wolf type or narrow-minded. Gray with more silver in it can be a very active color.
Native Americans associate gray with friendship. Gray is the symbol for security, maturity and dependability. It connotes responsibility and conservative practicality.

Gray is the true neutral color. Its energy imparts void, emptiness, lack of movement, emotion, warmth and identifying characteristics. Because of this, gray can be restful. It has a detached and isolated feeling. Gray can have a cooling effect when placed next to other more vibrant colors. It has a stabilizing effect, making vibrant colors stand out while muting their vibration.
Put some gray in your life when you want:
to emphasize your willingness to comply
a neutral, non-invasive feeling
to reduce the intense energy of another color
to feel detached or isolated

9. Black - Freda Cheung
Black is the most misunderstood color. A black tie dinner is very formal and elegant. Women can wear that "must have little black dress" to the black tie dinner. Yet the bad guys wear black hats. Black symbolizes death in some cultures. Native Americans thought black was good because it was the color of soil, which gives life. Saturday's color is black.

Black is not a color, strictly speaking. It is the absence of all color. When people speak of opposites, it is usually in terms of black and white. Black, and its opposite white, represent polarities. Black absorbs all aspects of light. While white reveals, black conceals. It has come to mean hidden, fearful or bad experience. It is linked to the unknown or the unseen.
In times of fear and uncertainty black contains the energy of the threatening unknown. In a positive state, black is seen as a restful emptiness into which anything may emerge and disappear once again. It is also mysterious, providing a sense of potential and possibility.

Put some black in your life when you want:
to become inconspicuous
to open the door to mystery
to prepare for the unknown
a restful emptiness

10. The array of all colours - Yours Truly

Photo Essay Theme is decided (y)

Photographer: Yours Truly

What colour defines you?

It's going to be a photo essay that runs through the different colours of the rainbow, and why each of the colours defines a particular person. The colours that I am exploring are: Black, Yellow, Red, Orange, Green, Blue, White, Grey, Pink/Purple and Multicoloured. I've already asked majority of my preferred models if they accept my invitation of being part of my photo essay and so far everyone of them have accepted. There will be lots of planning down, and there are just so many ideas and props that I want to explore.

People who are going to be involved:
Freda Cheung, Tham Hua, Shiwen King, Dinh Vuu, Kaitlyn Vu, Pauline Van, Daniel Tay, Yours Truly, Keith Soeum and hopefully Kelly Tang as well :)

Creating the Holga Effect

*following the tutorial #7

I can't deny it, honestly

It's amazing how much there is to admire, to appreciate, to be aware of when you take things slow, take things as they come, not rushing the moment. It unnoticeably becomes something special, something that keeps building as time moves forward. I like this, very much.

And on a serious side note,

the work of Jean Sebastien Monzani still amazes me beyond words. [These images were saved and used purely for educational purpose, they are not used to be manipulated or anything]

which leads me into exploring the work of other amateurs/professionals on deviantart and I've discovered the following that, also, took my breath away.

http://lolo-o.deviantart.com/

http://curlytops.deviantart.com/art/somewhere-49830644

http://may-18.deviantart.com/art/Talking-Bird-118912605

Inspiration from silhouettes

Otherworldly

http://themes.xanga.com/themehome.aspx?t=s&tm=all&l=0&u=luvabuv&pid=1

I randomly came across this image when I was changing the layout of my xanga. I love the silhouette of the vines and thin stems that grow towards the darkening sky. It's something I'd want to experiment with using both photoshop and painting in real life. The definition of the fine black lines is seriously so beautiful to me, that I sound like a crazy girl trying to describe how much I like this creation.

here are some others by the same person luvabuv (I would believe is the case):

Blot Out the Sun

4 Seasons

I think I'm developing a love for collage

Ever since I've started working on my political poster, and since I've been developing my ideas around the use of newspaper and cutting up letters to spell out my political message, my love and excitement for it has grown (lol). Okay that sounded lame, but I get so mystical when I see the words that I spelt out simply with magazine cut outs scanned and on the computer screen. I'm still experimenting with everything. Perhaps I just really like the oldschool style authentic look of the letters that have been cut out jaggedly etc. //hard to explain, but I think I just found new love for magazine cutouts.

Birthday presents for my sisters

inspiration was given by my own uni bag, the grid pattern of black and white// I'm going to attempt (and try my very best) to paint things that resemble them, or things that they'd look at and laugh every time. Maybe for Jenny I'll paint DOMO-KUN and for Anna I'd paint a bunny rabbit. These canvases are their belated birthday presents from me, and I'm hoping they'd hang it up in their new rooms when our new house has been completed. :) Being on a mid-semester break finally gave me the time to chill and paint for those that I love. <3

Like Romeo and Juliet, fact leaves fate to find us

I haven't (design) blogged for a while, time to revisit again.

We've been discussing the importance of grids in design layouts lately in design lectures and classes. It's really good to be aware how useful grids can be, seriously. When I was watching Paul construct a simple grid using the rulers in Photoshop, it made the canvas already look like a professional GUI/poster, even without it's contents and texts. Currently I'm working on my political poster, poverty still exists, with the use of a grid like structure of 3x3. It's still a working process with a muddle of scrunched up newspaper photographs (taken by me).

I will always be a romantic

I seriously have an obsession with the colour red, hearts and every thing to do with lovey dovey genre. I wanted to buy a badge today with a red heart on it, but couldn't because, honestly, I'm broke. Otherwise it would be hanging off my pencil case right now. My msn font colour is red as well. Red is the colour of love, passion and confidence. Something I need more in my life, perhaps.

Still lost in what happened last night

motivation is hard to find when you have so much time on your hands.

Animal rights in Canada

I just came across an article about hunters killing up to 300,000 seals and seal pups for the likes of fashion. I only came across this article because early on in the Herald Sun (27th March Edition) there was an image of a very adorable looking seal pup. It most definitely bought my love with the look in its eyes, but the caption wasn't something to be happy about. It stated it was most likely to be killed soon. And there I go, back to reality where things aren't always what they seem. The article is titled: How Could They? -- it's horrible, seriously, I don't know how else to underline this horrible reality. It makes you think, what kind of world do we live in?

It hurts to know the truth

"A crisis repeating itself daily slowly erodes in terms of news value. There is nothing new to report, just the same horror again. We feel like we have seen the photographs of starving children with distended stomachs so often."
--Mark Scott, July 2005

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/why-you-will-never-see-a-front-page-like-this/2005/06/30/1119724757442.html

Nobody forgets such a nightmare, but we generally do

Poverty will be the topic of my political poster
Poverty across Africa and other third world countries that suffer from high rates of death each day due to the extremely low standards of living. It's seriously a whole different world for me, I can't even bear to imagine what a horrible nightmare that would be. It would be beyond surreal for me. Even when I do try to imagine, it hurts, to know I wouldn't be able to survive under such conditions. It took me a while to choose my political topic, only because I was searching for something that would gain my passion immediately, not something that would demand it. I didn't want to choose something I was not touched by. This particular image tugged strongly on my heartstrings that it still stings just by looking at it.


http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/why-you-will-never-see-a-front-page-like-this/2005/06/30/1119724757442.html

I would say generally I'm a very optomistic person. Though when I feel low, I feel really low, down in a hole low, but I can pick myself up after a while. The point of me stating this is that, I believe that I'm an optomistic person because I'm ignorant. I'm ignorant that there are others out there that are suffering while I take things for granted so easily. I would not say that I generally watch the news or update myself on current affairs by reading the newspaper often, because I don't. For one, the language in the newspapers are just so darn sophisticated and confusing that sometimes I get lost in the information. For second, watching the news is only something I do when there is nothing better on, but lately I haven't been watching much TV anyway. I'm quite slow on the updates such as the SiChuan Earthquake, OBAMA becoming the first black American President (seriously, that's so bad of me). Because I'm so ignorant of the fact that there are homeless children, people dying all over the world, I'm okay because I don't know or acknowledge it so much. However, when I do come across images like these, or any information of such, it tugs and pulls me down, right back down to earth where the pain that I feel from minor problems is absolutely NOTHING compared to what these children, these fathers, and mothers are dealing with their whole life. Ignorance is bliss, but acknowledging the problem and doing something about it is better.

Even though submerging myself into the research on poverty across Africa and other third world countries will make me feel sad, pitiful and downright horrible, it'll make me feel more when I start creating my political poster. Passion is what I was looking for, and I found it tonight, finally.

Discovered a new favourite song

I'd Come for You - Nickelback

Just One more moment, that's all that's needed.
Like wounded soldiers in need of healing.
Time to be honest, this time I'm bleeding
Please don't dwell on it, cause I didn't mean it
I cant believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground
But it doesn't matter cause I've made it up forgive me now
Everyday I spend away my souls inside out
Gotta be someway that I can make it up to you now, somehow.

By now you'd know that I'd come for you
No one but you, yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you

I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing
My mind was closing, now I'm believing
I finally know what just what it means to let someone in
To see the side of me that no one does or ever will
So if your ever lost and find yourself all alone
I'd search forever just to bring you home,
Here and now this I vow

By now you'd know that I'd come for you
No one but you, yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you
You know I'd always come for you

Yes I'd come for you, no one but you,
Yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to

And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you
No matter what gets in my way

As long as there's still life in me
No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you
I'd crawl across this world for you

Do anything you want me to
No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you
You know I'll always come for you

*sigh

I like taking macro shots

my new bracelet with all the words I need to keep me strong

my lovely heart earring ~

Starting over as an elevator

To represent myself as a machine, I chose to become an elevator. I have my ups and downs in life but usually that depends on how I see life, how I deal with the flow of things. However for my machine, I chose to build the elevator out of doors, and the rubix heart of mine is guarding its entry. There are levels on which I allow people to get to know me, based on how hard or how much effort they place in trying to solve the cryptic code of my heart. Even though I know it is virtually impossible to solve, the effort and time counts for me. This is quite hard to explain, but I'll find a way to make sense of it.

Here are scans of my doors to become my elevator. I used the same technique of printing on newspaper because I absolutely love the effect it created. I also discovered that I could adjust how my scanner would scan the image, i.e. darker, lighter, inverse etc and I tried it out about 4 times, all different styles.

scan 01 - trying out the inverse effect

scan 02 - old fashioned, here the doors looked more like doors

why did I choose to print it on the newspaper, mind games page of The Age?

Well the elevator doors are guarded by my rubix heart, so to play along more with that theme, I chose to coat the doors of my elevator with continuous cryptic problems such as crosswords, sudoku etc.

Creating something for me in photoshop is a slow process. Even though I've got ideas bursting out of my mind, it's hard for me to just create it. So right now, even though I would say I've done a lot so far for my machine, it's still definitely a working process. I'm fussy with my small but still important details to make my machine more meaningful to me.

The beauty of balance

I took this photo on Friday when the sky looked absolutely gorgeous with small bits of clouds everywhere. I edited the contrast and brightness so the house and trees would have a stronger silouette. I don't often take photos like these.

Munching on a Peanut Butter Sandwich

I think I have a fascination for curly things, well at least painting them. This is a canvas that I'm painting for my gorgeous friend Halie (aka, Haylehh). This is me painting without a plan, I'm pretty much going with a flow, even though I do have a distinct idea in my head. I just hope she likes it. She's gonna hang it up on her living room wall.

Painting has recently become one of my hobbies, besides blogging onto xanga. It's an escape that I can't describe. I haven't visited the escape for over a week now, due to stress of uni and what not in between. I think it's only on the weekends that I generally make time to paint. That's the other funny thing on how I choose to paint. Whenever I'm on the tram ride home or to uni, I look around for odd shapes, curly designs that inspire me. Usually when it's like 'whoaaaa', I mentally remember it and implement the idea down. It's funny how the mind works.

starting from scratch

So far along the road of my machine

I couldn't believe that I was able to create exactly what I wanted in my mind by just using newspaper (stuck to the printing paper) and printed out my eyes on it directly. I scanned it again so I would be able to manipulate it within photoshop. The original copy is (in my opinion) irreplaceable. :) I used another photograph of myself and traced my neck and long hair. Drawing hair is one of the main things that I enjoy drawing, because it can be so carefree, so unpredictable and yet it can define what mood you are in. My hair for my photograph was down, wavy and quite crazy, 'I'm letting my hair down' for what is to come, 'I'm going with the flow'

original scan;

Fascination with eyes

As part of my self-montage as a Machine, I'd like to emphasise the idea that I am open and friendly with photos of my own eyes. What I'm imagining in my mind is the photo of my eyes ripped out like it was from a magazine. I can tell when I'm smiling or not when I just look at my eyes, there's a difference with the curve of my eyes. And with the black eyeliner, it also enhances the expressions of my face. The word 'Hope' is one of my favourite words, it's something that keeps me going for the future, even if I've had my tumbleturns of pain in the past. Hope is what keeps me moving forward. I believe when I took these photos, hope is evident in them. I know that sounds quite vain, but for me at the time when I took those photos, it was a new beginning for me.

This is my sketch of my 'machine' so far. I included earphones where they're attached to my chest window i.e. 'I listen to my heart when it sings' I follow my feelings (which isn't always the best way to go about things) when I'm faced with something new/confronting/sad. So far this is my ideas all meshed together.

Closed and guarded self VS Open and friendly

On my tram ride today to uni, brainstorming was what I was doing. I was imaging, making connections to what I've sketched out and what I've brainstormed up with earlier. As much as I see myself as an open and friendly person, where I can interact easily with new people, talk and make conversation with randoms, in reality (on the other hand) I can be very private with my actual thoughts. It's not like I'm lying to myself, I'm just more specific with choosing whom I trust and can rely on. Other words, I can very guarded, I don't just let anyone into my world. I guess that comes with growing up. I remember when I was younger, I was definitely naive, very friendly and open to anything and, really, anyone who would listen or pay attention to me. I remember, on my first friend network account on hi5, I added randoms everyday, I was all about making new friends. I didn't really considerate how dangerous or reckless that was to make friends with just ANYONE. Obviously, now that I'm older, I do know better. Facebook for an instance. Someone instantly sees you as a friend if you've only met ONCE in person, or if you know someone else. Just recently I deleted a whole bunch of "friends" just because I've never really talk to them, hung out with them, nor do I really care if they are there in my future. That sounds harsh, but I like to keep it small. I don't care if I don't have over 300 friends anymore (like I used to). What matters is that there are the selected people who I can count on, who I can turn to. Those are the people whom I can believe in in my times of need. To them, I'm not as closed and guarded, to them, they can see my (majority) of my true self, share my secrets with. But overall, it's still a working process. I don't think you can really 100% trust someone, but there are those that come close.

Okay now that I've rambled enough about my thoughts of my good and bad side - things that I can concentrate on for my self portrait as a machine - I can start listing down my brainstorms on how I can represent this.

I was imaging a rubix cube shaped heart, instead of a lock and key. If my heart was shaped as a lock, I would say its only too easy for anyone to pick it nowadays. I can still be naive, I can trust too easily, give everyone that benefit of the doubt. So with a rubix cube, it would be more cryptic, they would have to approach me in a specific way, understand me on more than just one level before I can start opening up more. It's like a hands-on challenge, you can't just pick my lock, or jam in any old key. Also recently I've been trying to learn how to complete a rubix cube (well, with the help from the internet) but it's still hard. Having a rubix cube shaped as a heart sounds virtually impossible to unjumble - and it is (if it ever existed).

The idea of fairy lights also came up in my mind when I was brainstorming. Lights, was one of the machines that I came up with when I was brainstorming earlier on. Lights - they light up people's way, they help people see things clearer, what it symbolises is an idea, and I see myself as quite the creative person in my thinking. Anything is possible if you can imagine it. I see the fairy lights as innocence, but now that I'm older, I see my innocence has been tainted in more than just one way. So for the idea of the fairy lights, there would still be some lights working, while others could be busted, or no longer shining.

time to Google.

Ball gowns - I'm old fashioned, I can still enjoy the simple things of life (even if technology seriously does dominate my lifestyle) I want to create a machine where I'm in an extravagent ballgown (well at least in the shape of one), that is built up with 'machines' that make up on who I am. It'd be draped in fairy lights, metallic materials. My hands will be wide open, positioned like I'm feeling free, baring my chest to the viewer that it's locked. so what you see is what you get unless you dare to go beyond that. Chains.

Locks & Chains & Closed Windows (where you can only imagine what's beyond it)